Get Real

“You got to be kidding me.”

I truly couldn’t believe my ears once he told me.

“Yeah, man. I can’t drink too much since I’ve been cycling again.”

“Again? You’re not touching that shit, are you?”

“Fuck yeah, man. Take a look at me. I’m bigger than I’ve ever been and…”

At that moment, I walked away. Granted, it was my time to bowl again; but I just couldn’t fathom what he was telling me. I mean, I could easily see it. His face had been bloated recently and he definitely look bigger than ever. His friend, the guy who paid hundreds of dollars (twice) to fly a chick down to see him, looked as if he found some magic beans as well. I just didn’t want to be around it at that time.

Truthfully, whatever someone wants to do to their body is their own business. If they want to take shortcuts that could possibly endanger their health, but leave them looking bigger in the meantime, I’ve got nothing against it. Go ahead, man.

At the same time, I’ve done everything naturally and feel quite proud about it. Sure, I’ve dabbled in a few protein shakes when I felt as if they’d be the answer to me bulking up — and they worked — but I’ll never inject or take any pills that put my body or my well-being in danger. Could it have helped me run faster or be a better athlete back in college? Sure. Could they put me closer to a goal I’ve had of gaining about 20 pounds to be a stout 6’2, 190? Of course. Could I truly look at myself in the mirror, knowing that my hard work only did a portion of it, while synthetic products did the rest? Fuck no. Why else would I hurl vibrators across the room whenever a chick tries to pull one out when I’m going down on her? I’m joking about that last bit, because if you know how to eat pussy, she should only be grabbing the bed sheets or headboard. If not, then you’re not doing it right.

With this being the Swole Movement ™ in the Manosphere right now, good luck in your endeavors. Earn it naturally, feel the pride and enjoy every minute of it.